living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My vagina is very pro this idea
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
