Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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