i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Pants are for mortals
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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