Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
wow bdsm is so cute
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
