who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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