I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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