Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
