i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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