At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
