oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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