He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize