After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
