eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
