im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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