you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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