i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize