is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
