i just wanna soil my oats bro
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
