what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
