i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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