Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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