are you still at the devil's house?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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