So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
