the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
