Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
