im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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