I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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