I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
