i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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