He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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