I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
