It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
