oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
a search helicopter?!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
