Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I am morally bankrupt
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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