He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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