im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
