what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
