I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
