Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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