I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
