Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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