hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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