Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
