I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
