It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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