Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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