Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
