i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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