just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
