Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
nutella sex= disaster
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
