He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
