Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
