He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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