could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
we're so committed to being not committed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
