What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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