I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
