He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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