Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
