I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
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I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dignity is for republicans.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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