Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
