I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
