I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
