im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
