AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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