I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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