Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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