and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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