I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
