Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
